Missing Duke

Our cats, Duke and Clemmy, haven't lived with us since April 2010. When we put our AA house on the market that spring, my parents volunteered to let the cats live with them until we had sold the house and were situated in Texas.

Now that we're settled, we're trying to figure out what's to do about Clemmy. (Will recently tested positive for an allergy to cats, but since we don't really believe the result - he's never had any problems with cats in the past - more testing in on the agenda for later this year.) We don't, however, have to figure out what to do about Duke, because if you recall, he was hit by a car and died last fall. Duke's passing was incredibly difficult for Tom and me, and for Will as well, and the thought of not being able to bring Clemmy home either is tough.

The kids and I talk about and look at pictures of the cats fairly often - at least a couple of times a week - but the conversations always feel kind of abstract to me. It's hard to remember what our house felt like with Duke and Clemmy living here.

Until today, that is.

One of the back cushions on our couch has had a huge indentation in it where Duke used to sleep. (Duke weighed close to 20 pounds, so he could really squash a cushion.) I tried for quite a while to get Duke to sleep somewhere else, if even just a different cushion so that the three cushions would evenly indented, but he would have none of it. I also tried for quite a while to figure out a way to return the pillow to its original shape, but I was never successful.

This afternoon I had to give the couch a good scrubbing, thanks to a topless runaway Hallie ("I won away fwom you!") and her topless hot pink marker.

As I was cleaning the couch, I glanced up and noticed for the first time that all three back cushions look exactly the same. Duke's indentation is gone. And I cried.