Kids Say the Darndest Things...

Jammies

Tom wore a nice pair of plaid dress shorts and a polo shirt to church. While the choir was singing, Will tugged on my arm and motioned for me to lean down so he could ask me something.
Will: (in a whisper) Mama, why did you let Daddy wear his jammies to church?
Erin: Those aren’t his jammies, Will. Those are his shorts.
Will: Hmm. They look like jammies to me.


Spelling Bee

These days Hallie is very interested in writing her name. I’ve been holding her hand and helping her “write” H-A-L-L-I-E, and as we write we say the names of the letters out loud. She likes to practice on her own as well…
Hallie: I white (write) Haa-yee!
Erin: Wonderful! Show me!
Hallie: H… A… (Just scribbles, but still impressive that she knows the letters, right?)
Hallie: 12… 14… 16… 18… 19… 20… X. Haa-yee!


Driving License

Will: Mama, when will I get a driving license?
Erin: When you’re 16.
Will: (defiantly) Ha! I’m going to get a driving license when I’m 15!
Erin: Actually you can get a learner’s permit when you’re 15. You can’t get an actual driver’s license until you’re 16.
Will: How do you get a driving license?
Erin: You have to take two tests – first a written test, and then a driving test with an instructor.
Will: What’s a constructor?
Erin: An instructor is a teacher.
Will: Will you come with me with the constructor?
Erin: No, you have to take the test with just the instructor.
Will: (with tears beginning to well in his eyes) I don’t want to go with the constructor by myself!
Erin: Then you don’t have to. We won’t make you take the test to get a driver’s license. But you can’t get a driver’s license without taking the test. It's the law.
Will: (with tears streaming down his face) But I want a driving license!
Erin: Will, this isn’t something you need to worry about right now.
Tom: Will, how old are you?
Will: (bawling, holds up four fingers)
Tom: So you don’t have to worry about getting your driver’s license for at least 11 years.
Will: (still bawling) Mama, how do you get your kid back after the test?
Erin: Well, I’ll take you to the DMV –
Will: (through sobs) What’s the DMV?
Erin: The Department of Motor Vehicles. (At this point I couldn’t hold it in any longer and I started laughing because the conversation was just so ridiculous, and I had to take a moment to compose myself.) I’ll take you to the DMV, you’ll take your tests, and then we’ll leave together.
Will: Did you have to take the tests?
Erin: Yes. Grandma Brenda took me to the DMV and waited while I took my tests; then we drove home together.
Will: How do you find your kid after the tests?
Erin: Moms wait in the lobby for their kids.
Will: What’s a lobby?
Erin: A room where people wait for other people or to be called for appointments.
Will: Are there chairs?
Erin: Yes, there are chairs.
Will: (having calmed down and gotten undressed for his bath) Look Mama! I’m buck naked!