Sunday, February 22, 2009

Things Will should not say

It's been awhile since I updated the blogdience with Will's verbalizations. Well, at this point he is able to say almost anything if you sound it out for him, and he is spontaneously using new words every day. Unfortunately and sometimes hilariously, he is now saying some things we wish he wouldn't in public...

We were out to dinner last night for Baby Justin's daddy's birthday and Will said a couple things that forced Erin and I to stifle laughter and tell him that "we don't say that". One thing I remember in particular - I'm not sure if he was issuing an order or describing the way he experiences things in his normal life, but he clearly stated: "This daddy [points] and this boy Will [points] PLAY [demonstrates how to play, doing a little wiggle dance in his highchair]. Mommy EAT."

Erin is getting very pregnant as we're about 6 weeks from baby sister's birthday. So forgive her if her body is proportioned as a pregnant woman's should be. But this doesn't stop Will from telling people that "mama have a big big butt!" Seriously I don't think he means this as an insult, probably the first time he said it someone (probably Erin herself) must have laughed and reinforced it as something he may very well say at daycare or in public at any time.

I am guilty of indirectly encouraging him to say some things that Erin is not happy about. Somehow he figured out that the words "fart" and "poop" are funny. Actually, I don't ever remember teaching him the word fart (we use other terms in our house) so I'm not sure where he learned that one. But he must have said these words to judge their effect a couple times and I could not suppress laughing at them, so sometimes he will now spontaneously say "poop!" at the dinner table, and he's not declaring a need to use the potty - he just knows that when he does this daddy laughs and mama gets mad...

One of my favorites, and this one is more innocent I guess: we were on a road trip to Wisconsin and stopped at a travel oasis outside of Chicago. Will and I had been having a yes-no play argument in the car to help pass the time and I must have thrown in an "awwwww yeah" once or twice. Will picked up on that right away and started saying his own version of "ooooh yeah!". Anyway, we're eating lunch at this oasis and Erin had run to the bathroom. It just happened that he decided to continue the argument spontaneously at the exact moment that a very curvaceous woman bent over, right next to our table, to dispose of her lunch trash in the can we were sitting next to. So he timed an "ooooh yeah" right when she bent over. She then looked right at me and all I could do was say I was sorry through my laughter. Fortunately she laughed it off as well.

Sometimes Will says things that really startle me until I realize he is saying a common word but his pronunciation sounds a bit "blue". Then we have to inform his teachers at daycare so they don't think he lives in a house full of sailors. For example, one of his favorite songs which he will at times sing spontaneously is "John Jacob Jingleheimer S#!+". Also, he has recently discovered a special "f*!%#&" [freckle] between his toes which he likes to show people and talk about.

This last one will likely make a good story for Will's teachers when he hopefully says it in the near future. One of the "silly songs" that has been playing nonstop in Erin's car for months is about a man who goes fishing for crawdads in a crawdad hole, puts the crawdads in a sack, but then falls down and breaks the sack and the crawdads get away. The line goes "the man fell down and broke that sack, see those crawdads crawling back", something like that. So Will falls down a lot and likes to give Erin and I a play-by-play when he does, even if we're right there with him. A couple times he has told us: "I fall down break my sack!"

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